(no subject)

[meimichi]

So. It's just possible that you might have gleaned this fact from my LJ for the past...half a year...but.

This one movie came out today!



The movie opens on a black screen. Twangy country-ish music plays...and then we open, as always, on a closeup of Tsukushi's eyes, looking ahead as her hair blows in the wind. In an absolutely stunning shot, she slips a pair of mirrored sunglasses on, and you can see the Arizona scenery and the road ahead reflected in the lenses.

It cuts away to an amazing helicopter shot of the scenery, as the credits play with the twangy music continuing. Finally, we see a red convertible, with Tsukasa at the wheel, speeding down a country road.

Cut to the highway. Tsukasa pulls over, and they get out to admire the view. Tsukushi is amazed at how huge it all is. Tsukasa says, "This is the first time we've taken a trip, huh?" all dorkily excited, and Tsukushi admonishes him that this is not a vacation, they're on a mission. He agrees, wondering if they'll be able to "find that guy." He says if they "don't get it back," they definitely won't be able to get married, because his mother will absolutely kill him.

They get back into the car, and Tsukasa is talking to Tsukushi and looking at her as they turn a bend in the road...and a giant semi comes around, heading RIGHT FOR THEM. (I couldn't tell, but I suspect Tsukasa was on the wrong side here.) Tsukasa screams. Tsukushi shrieks, "ARIENAITTSU-NO!!!"

Cut to black.

TWO WEEKS AGO IN TOKYO...

Tsukasa is at a hotel, holding a Doumyouji Holdings press conference. Just in this scene alone, you can see how much more money they're pouring into this: the press conference setup has this wild spotlight show going on that is super-cool looking but looks like something out of a game show or something. Nishida introduces Tsukasa, saying that Tsukasa has an announcement.

Tsukasa announces, "I will be getting married in the spring. To the girl who stole my heart and never let it go...Makino Tsukushi. She's a commoner, but..." And here he makes some kind of epic language mistake I didn't quite catch, but Nishida goes to take a sip of water and totally does a spit-take. The press guy near the front row smirks way too loudly, "This guy's the president of Doumyouji Holdings, and he's this weak in Japanese?"

Tsukasa, heretofore acting rather professional, roars, "HEY! YOU! ARE YOU A MORON! ...there's no such thing as being weak or strong in language, 'cause they're just words! :D" (At this point it felt very, "Ahhh, no matter how expensive and showy the movie budget gets, nothing changes.) A countdown screen appears behind him, and he snaps his fingers as he introduces the love of his life to the world...

...with a photo of Tsukushi stuffing her face with ramen.

Tsukushi is, at that precise moment, at Bic Camera in the TV department, and stares around her in horror as every single screen reflects the photo. A little boy being carried by his father points at a screen and chirps, "That girl looks so funny!" The dad says, "Yup, she's got one weird face!"

Cut to Tsukushi stomping after Tsukasa in the Doumyouji Holdings building. This is NOT the building used for the drama, this location is absolutely jaw-dropping, huge, and expensive-looking. They walk through the main hall, Tsukasa's office, out the doors, the camera constantly moving them through lavish location after lavish location as they talk. Tsukushi cries out, "You didn't have to use that picture! There are so many other pictures you could have used! What are you thinking!" She tosses the magazine with the photo on the cover at him. "I'm the laughingstock of the world!"

Tsukasa, walking through his office (ballroom-sized, with a lounge area with huge sofa chairs), says, "But that's the real you, isn't it?" Tsukushi keeps yelling at him, and he says smoothly, "Don't worry. This is all part of the plan."

Tsukushi looks at him in horror as the camera cuts to each of F4 in flashback, helpfully showcasing that they helped Tsukasa plan to release the stupid-looking photo, because, as Rui says while happily playing the piano (a new addition to his room), "If we released a beautiful photo, wouldn't it be tough for Tsukasa if the entire world fell in love with you, too? :D" Akira and Soujirou say it's best to make a splash so people remember her face, but Makino's face isn't that memorable on its own, so...

I think here were the introductions to F4 again: Tsukasa says Akira and Soujirou are so busy nowadays he can't see them even if he wants. Soujirou has taken on the family business, and has started working a lot overseas to do lectures on tea (we see one in a HUGE auditorium, sooo high budget). And Akira has been sent all over the world to learn his family trade: we see him in Hong Kong with some goons, and a car blows up in front of them, leading to a chase scene and a shootout fight. Rui, however? Same as ever, hanging in his room, reading.

They walk out through the lobby, the entire time surrounded by bodyguards, and Tsukushi yells that even so she still can't believe he chose a picture that bad, and Tsukasa says dismissively, "You're going to be my wife, so you have to get used to your face being seen everywhere." Tsukushi indignantly complains about him introducing her to the world looking like an idiot, and as she says this she totally runs SMACK INTO THE LOBBY DOOR.

Cut to both of them in the car, Tsukasa driving what looks like a Rolls Royce, saying she has him, so she shouldn't care if she looks bad: "You have some guy besides me you're trying to impress?" Tsukushi says, "This is just about how girls can't stand to have bad photos of themselves shown off! What is wrong with you! You're completely unable to understand the heart of a woman!"

As she says this, it cuts to the two of them at Ebisu Garden Place. Their bodyguards have formed a ten-foot perimeter around the statue for their date, and are frequently shooing passerby away from getting closer. Tsukasa laughs and says in response, "Duh, I'm a guy! Do you want me to be some girly person who understands girls and totally gets their girly feelings?" Tsukushi says he could use with a bit of that, actually.

Tsukasa notes she was into that kind of guy in the case of Rui, and she agrees. He jealously says, "You're supposed to deny it!" and asks if she still likes Rui. She says she absolutely does not, thank you, and Tsukasa gets all stuffy saying well GOOD because WE ARE GETTING MARRIED RIGHT. Tsukushi keeps complaining, saying that with his announcement, things have become tough for her family.

Cut to a news reporter in a helicopter the following morning, flying overhead Tsukushi's family apartment, remarking to the camera that she really is a commoner, living in an ordinary apartment building. There are press lined up for about a block around the building, and her dad wonders if he should call in to work.

Susumu calls that they're talking about Oneechan on TV, and they tune in to see ancient, horrible photos of Tsukushi's parents being shown off. Susumu notes, "Mama looks like an idol and Papa looks like some comedian." The news goes on to add that Tsukushi has always been known for her strong sense of justice, and shows a video of Tsukushi as a kindergartener, doing her trademark jump and punching a boy in the face.

The news cuts to Yuuki and Okami-san, whose faces are censored and voices are disguised, but it's obvious it's them. Yuuki says Tsukushi is the least feminine girl on the planet, and was always into Tsukasa's friend, Hanazawa Rui. Way harsh!

Cut to Doumyouji's house. The two families have met in a tatami room, with Tsukushi in full kimono. Susumu is stuffing his face. Tsukasa says grandly that little brother should eat as much as he likes, and Susumu says through a mouthful, "Oh, I am."

Kaede says, not unkindly, to Tsukushi that she's going to have to face many challenges as Tsukasa's wife. Tsukushi's mom says, "But...can Tsukushi really handle all of this, do you think...?" Tsukasa responds, smiling warmly, "It will be all right. Because she's the woman I chose."

Tama walks in then carrying a box, and Tsukushi tries to turn around to see her, bowing and saying, "Senpai, it's been a while!" But when she turns herself around, she ends up falling right off her cushion and sprawled across the floor. Tama greets her, and then walks around to open the box, revealing a tiara with huge stones, saying it's the proof of their engagement since it's been passed down through the Doumyouji family.

Kaede says, "It's the lucky charm of the Doumyouji family. And my gift to you." Tsukushi thanks her, bowing deeply. The Makino family gather around the box, looking at it admiringly.

Cut to a giant hotel room, where the Makinos continue to gawk at the tiara, in its box on the table. Susumu is jumping on the bed freaking out about how huge the room is. Tsukushi and her mom are left sitting alone, as Tsukushi shuts the tiara box.

Tsukushi's mom asks, "Tsukushi, aren't you nervous...?"

"Well, yeah. I am."

"You can call it all off anytime, you know. If it doesn't feel right, you can quit right now," her mom says gently.

Tsukushi smiles and shakes her head, at which Tsukasa strolls in to invite everyone to dinner. The Makino family bows out, saying they're going to eat on their own, so Tsukushi and Tsukasa can have some Private Time (which is apparently increasingly rare as Tsukasa is in charge of the company). Tsukushi objects, but Tsukasa is totally GLEEFUL about the prospect of Private Time. Which, I think it is fairly obvious, he is hoping will turn into Sexy Times.

The family files out, and Tsukushi complains to Tsukasa for agreeing so easily not to have dinner together. He spreads himself out on the couch and asks, "Are you that miserable being alone with me?"

"Of course not. But..." She flops down and lies down on the other couch across from him. "I'm feeling a lot of pressure here..."

Tsukasa nods sagely. "Ah. Marine blues."

She stares. "How can you make these mistakes when you're fluent in English? Marriage blues, moron."

"We're talking about weddings, not colors, stupid!" he says firmly.

She sighs, and then rolls over on her stomach. Her butt is slightly in the air and her skirt is really short, a fact that does not go unnoticed by Tsukasa, who cackles in glee, "Makino...I can almost see your panties...!"

She leaps up off the sofa like it's red hot, and starts yanking down her skirt. Tsukasa stands up and crosses over to her, both of them sitting down on the couch. He leans over and says earnestly, "You may be feeling pressure, but I swear I will protect you for the rest of my life. So just follow me." He smiles at her, and she's visibly touched. He touches her shoulder, positioning her for a kiss, and leans in...

And the giant hotel picture window smashes, and a guy in black (who I will refer to as the ninja, because really) swipes the tiara on the table, and runs for the door.

Tsukushi and Tsukasa freeze for a moment, then Tsukushi shrieks, "THAT WAS THE TIARA!" and Tsukasa goes flying out the door, hollering, "STOP RIGHT THERE!!!"

What follows is a lavish, big-budget chase and fight sequence that goes on for probably five minutes. Tsukasa chases the ninja all through the giant hotel lobby, up the escalators, and several times Matsujun performs some freaking amazing leaping stunts (think the giant jump Tsukasa made in the Returns finale when he went to save Tsukushi in the snow, but JUMPING FROM THE DOWN ESCALATOR TO THE UP ESCALATOR). The ninja is constantly waving and taunting Tsukasa silently, and Tsukasa chases him through the hotel ballroom, tearing through a ton of hotel staffers decorating it for an event.

Then they get into the kitchen. I was literally weeping with silent laughter, that is how epic and ridiculous this fight sequence is. They break EVERY BREAKABLE THING in that kitchen. It goes on FOREVER. They knock out all the ceiling lights. They fight near the oven and the ninja catches on fire. Then they swing on chains from the ceiling and kick at each other. Then the ninja grabs a knife and there's some knife fighting. Then Tsukasa gets backed against the giant aquarium, and they break THAT and water goes all over. Then Tsukasa starts to win and he throws an entire rack over the ninja along with all the plates and cutlery on it, but right when Tsukasa nabs the tiara, the ninja leaps up and they tussle. Tsukasa loses the tiara but manages to yank off the ninja's mask, and then the ninja waves and takes off again.

Tsukasa gives chase up to the roof, where Tsukushi joins him. The ninja is poised on a crane coming out from the roof, still holding the tiara. Tsukushi cries out, "That's a really important thing to us! Please give it back!" Tsukasa, clearly thinking this is going to be another suicide moment, tells the guy to back down and that he can't be thinking of jumping.

The ninja waves again and...jumps off the building. Tsukushi and Tsukasa stare in horror...

...as a helicopter rises from below the building, the ninja clinging to the bottom of it. The OTP watch helplessly as he makes his getaway...

...and, returning to the hotel room, are shocked to find the window repaired. Tsukasa goes to check the room number, thinking they're in the wrong one, but it's definitely theirs. The Makinos can't figure out why they're freaking out, and asks if whatever happened wasn't a dream. Tsukushi screams that it's not a dream, because, "It's gone! It's gone!"

"What is?"

"The ti-"

"No," Tsukasa cuts her off. "It's nothing. Nothing at all." (It should be noted he is bruised and bleeding while saying this and it's all rather ridiculous.)

Both of them head down to the front desk, and Tsukasa starts getting violently angry with the desk clerk, who claims they haven't had a single report of theft, broken windows, or wild ninja chases. Tsukasa grabs him by the shirt and snarls, "It hasn't even been a half-hour since it happened!" Tsukushi tries to calm him down, but the clerk continues to deny everything.

The OTP head off into the night, Tsukasa stomping off as they walk down a street with a stunning night view of Tokyo Tower. Two girls try to take photos of Tsukasa, and he kicks them and screams, "DON'T BE TAKING PHOTOS, BITCHES," and Tsukushi trails after him, apologizing to the girls frantically. They wonder what they can possibly do, and who could have stolen it...

Cut to a guy the next day. He's an older man, and cooking in a rather fancy-looking house: traditional Japanese place, tatami, rock gardens, very elegant...

Cut to Rui's room. Rui calls up Shizuka, who is in France and looking stunning in her wedding dress. "Why didn't you invite me?" Rui asks petulantly.

"We've decided for it to be just the two of us at the ceremony. It's easier that way: I've cut ties with my family, after all."

"What about Makino? Have you called her to tell her?"

"It's really not the time for that, is it? She's got so much going on."

"She does, yes."

"I bet that wedding is going to be quite a scene."

"Probably. Since Tsukasa's head of the company, now."

Shizuka smiles. "What's wrong, Rui? You sound sad."

"Of course I'm sad. My longtime crush is getting married, how else should I feel?" Rui says playfully. Shizuka wonders what Rui's doing with himself, though? Is he going to take on the family business like the rest of the boys have? Rui responds that he's not cut out for that life like everyone else is. He leans back in his chair, saying seriously, "Shizuka, congratulations. I'm praying for your happiness."

She smiles huge and says, "Thank you." Then the church bells start to ring, and she hangs up.

Rui says to himself, "I wanted to be there, to say 'congratulations' to her face, you know... It's time for me to graduate, I think, from quite a few things..."

At that point, Tsukasa comes up the walk and Rui greets him from the window. Then asks, "...what happened to your face?!"

Cut to later, Tsukasa standing at the windowsill while Rui stretches out. Tsukasa says quietly, "Hey, Rui. This is a one in a million chance, but... If, one to a million...something happens to me...I want you to take care of everything."

"What are you talking about?"

Tsukasa looks away. "I don't want to say."

"Is Makino okay?"

"Yeah. And what's going on...it's our own problem. But. I'm just saying...if something happens to me...you're in charge of everything, okay."

"...everything?"

"Everything," Tsukasa confirms.

"Why are you asking me?"

"'Cause Soujirou and Akira are too busy for me to ask them anything."

"And I'm the only one with a free enough schedule to take on your problems?"

"Yup!"

"But, you know. You can't just expect me to agree without even knowing what's going on."

Tsukasa gets up to leave. "Like I said...it's a million to one chance. But if anything happens..." He turns and looks at Rui for a response.

Rui looks at him, then silently salutes in response. Tsukasa grins back, and walks out.

Cut to Nishida in the Doumyouji mansion, having investigated the owner of the hotel. They know he's vacationing in Vegas. And so... "Makino! We're going on a journey! TO AMERICA!"

Cut back to Vegas and the impending car crash with the semi!

Tsukasa manages to swerve off the road at the last second. The semi pulls over too, and Tsukasa starts hollering at the truck, screaming, "YOU CAN'T DRIVE LIKE YOU OWN THE ROAD JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BIGGER!" The truck door opens, a truck driver who looks like he must weigh 300 pounds gets out.

Tsukushi takes one look at the guy and flees back to the car, but of course Tsukasa stomps right up to the guy and screams in English, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" (Matsujun's English: LEVEL UP! I could actually understand him without the Japanese subtitles helping me this time! *v*)

He gets RIGHT IN THE GUY'S FACE, and the driver stares in shock and exclaims, "I know you! You're that Doumyouji guy!"

Tsukasa slips his sunglasses on and says, "No no no no no!" and says he's got the wrong guy, but the truck driver knows it's Doumyouji, such is his WORLD-FAMOUS-NESS, and is all smiles. Tsukushi looks on in shock as Tsukasa then casually asks if there's anywhere good to eat around here, and the driver cheerfully answers that there's a place up the road and the food is pretty good. Tsukasa thanks him. AND THEN THEY HUG. Tsukasa strolls back to the car and tells Tsukushi that he asked where they should eat, and the truck driver grabs a magazine from his car and chases after them, asking for Tsukasa to sign it: the magazine is "Peoples" magazine, with Tsukushi and Tsukasa's wedding announcement on the cover.

Cut to them eating in front of the car. Tsukushi is eating a GIANT hamburger and looks like she is having the time of her life. Tsukasa is amazed she can eat all that, and she says, "You don't want yours, I'll take it!" He hands over his burger, and she shrieks with glee.

"Makino, you're probably the type who'll totally let yourself get fat after you get married, huh," he says teasingly.

She grins. "Could be. What will you do, if I get fat?"

He shrugs. "If you got fat? I wouldn't do anything. I'm not in love with you for what you look like, I'm in love with you for who you are."

She smiles, clearly won over, and then he adds, "After all, if I were concerned with looks, I wouldn't pick a girl as ugly as you in the first place!"

She wails, "You really think I'm ugly?" and he says of course not. He chose her out of all the women in the world, so that follows she's the best woman in the entire world.

"Just what about me is number-one in the world?" she asks playfully.

"EVERYTHING!" he yells haughtily back to her, like she's stupid for having to be told this. XD

Back in the car, night falls as they pull onto the Vegas strip! Tsukushi jumps up in the car to look at the view, and he jerks her back down. They look for the hotel Nishida booked them, and Tsukasa stares in horror as it turns out it's a totally shady motel.

Tsukushi is delighted. "LOOK! FORTY DOLLARS A NIGHT! SO CHEAP!" Tsukasa is pitching a fit, and Tsukushi reminds him of what Nishida told them...

Flashback to them leaving the mansion. Nishida warns them, "You cannot stand out in your usual showy fashion. If you act as you usually do, your mother is sure to hear about it, and she'll realize the tiara is gone."

Tsukushi says gleefully, "Wait, Nishida-san...you mean we're going on a trip on a poor person's budget? LEAVE IT TO ME!"

They open up their motel room, and it is one of those cheesy places with the bed that folds out from the wall. Tsukasa is horrified, but Tsukushi says she thinks it's fine. They dump their luggage and head back to the car to track down the hotel owner. As they're waiting in line to park the car at the casino, Tsukushi looks ahead in front of the casino lobby, and sees Shigeru!

She cries out, "Shigeru!" and leaps out of the car, both of them clutching hands and shrieking with glee to see each other. Tsukushi says Shigeru hasn't changed at all, and Tsukasa strolls up, greeting her with, "Yo, monkey." Shigeru delightedly asks if they're there on their honeymoon? Tsukushi asks what she's doing there, anyway?

The three of them head to dinner in the hotel, and Shigeru says she was invited to dinner by a man who's doing business with her family. Tsukushi excitedly asks if he's her boyfriend? Is he American? Shigeru looks cutely embarrassed and says he's neither, but he's really cool, and...the owner of that one hotel in Tokyo, do you guys know it? (DUN! DUN! DUN!!!!!!)

Tsukushi and Tsukasa freeze, and say, "You have to be kidding."

Shigeru asks, nervously, "Is there a problem...?"

Cut to Fujiki. (I can't remember his character's name.) He's throwing around money at the casino, to amazed onlookers who ooh and ahh. Shigeru waves to him cheerfully, and he says, "Shigeru-chan! You're late!" She says cutely, "I know, I'm sorry! It's just that I ran into my best friend by total chance!" She gestures to Tsukushi and Tsukasa, and Fujiki clearly recognizes them.

Tsukasa wants to have a Little Talk with Fujiki in a lounge above the casino. He asks if Fujiki stole the tiara, and Fujiki says it wasn't him. He recieved an anonymous call two weeks ago: "'One week from today, something will happen at your hotel. I'll send you five million dollars to pretend that nothing happened that night at all.' I know nothing else, and had nothing to do with your tiara getting stolen."

Tsukushi asks why he'd do such a thing, Fujiki shrugs and said it seemed like a good deal. "It was just business." Tsukasa screams, "For five million dollars, would you not have cared if someone got killed?!" He grabs for Fujiki, and Fujiki says dangerously that Tsukasa better watch himself. If he tries to start a fight in the casino, Fujiki's men will be all over him. The only reason he's listened to them this long is because Tsukasa's a friend of Shigeru's. Tsukasa snarls, "The only reason I'm holding back is because you're a friend of Shigeru's!" He grabs Fujiki and backs him against the ledge, but true to Fujiki's word, bodyguard-types surround them instantly. Fujiki gets right up in Tsukasa's face IT'S PRETTY HOT I WON'T LIE I WANTED THEM TO MAKE OUT A LITTLE and says, "This is America. Make one wrong move, and..." He makes a gun with his finger, and goes, "Bang!"

They leave the casino and go to eat at a diner (Tsukushi still stuffing her face), and Tsukushi wonders what on earth they'll do: they're at a dead end. "Are our whole lives going to keep having troubles like this? Until I met you, I only had ordinary troubles, you know."

"Could be," Tsukasa says amiably. "But will you stay with me? Even if it's like this for the rest of our lives?"

"Who knows," Tsukushi laughs. Tsukasa gets upset and scoots over to her side of the booth, asking how she can say that. "After all, it'll be okay. I'm the great Doumyouji, after all!" Tsukushi retorts that she is perfectly ordinary. He says, happily, but you're Makino Tsukushi, the turnip, right? "It's Makino Tsukushi, the WEED!" "Yeah, that," he says indifferently.

"But..." She looks troubled. "My weed power, I feel like it won't be enough. I think I've got to be stronger than just a weed, for a life like this, you know? I feel like I'm starting to understand your mother, Doumyouji. They call her the Iron Woman, don't they? But I see now, she wasn't born like that. She had no choice but to become that way."

Tsukasa looks concerned, but then his cell rings. It's Akira in Hong Kong, and he says, "You know that tiara you got? I've heard tell it's on the market in a black market auction. It's gotta be a fake, but I thought you should know..."

Tsukasa yells, "It's the real one!" Both Tsukushi and Tsukasa fly out of the diner and run for the car. "Track that auction down!! How much is it going for?"

"Bidding opens at sixty million dollars."

Tsukushi and Tsukasa retreat to their motel. Tsukasa says they'll have to go to Hong Kong and bid on the tiara themselves. Tsukushi freaks out: "Sixty million?!! How can we afford that?! You have that kind of money?!!"

Tsukasa pulls the bed out of the wall, saying, "Well, if I rely on the company money, there's really no price that's impossible." Tsukushi points out, "Yes, but if you use the company money, your mom will definitely notice."

He agrees, and flops down on the bed miserably.

...then is like, "...! *LIGHTBULB!!!!*" and spreads out on the bed and asks Tsukushi to come to bed. XXXXXXD

Tsukushi is like, I BEG YOUR PARDON.

Tsukasa says wheedlingly, "We're getting maaarried!" and Tsukushi is like, I FAIL TO SEE YOUR POINT, SIR.

He grabs her arm, pulls her down on the bed, and...

Naturally, Fujiki then strides into the motel room, holding a giant bag. Tsukasa rolls over and starts throwing a tantrum face-down on the bed, aall WHY ARE YOU HERE RUINING MY SEXY TIMES (I don't know if this was on purpose but um Tsukasa sort of grabbed the sheet off the bed and pulled it around his waist here while having his DAMMIT TOTALLY COCKBLOCKED flounce moment. I was like, DID THEY SERIOUSLY GO THERE?!!! OH MY GOD ROCK ON HANADAN WAY TO STOP BEING PG!)

Anyway, Fujiki tosses the bag on the bed. "There's five million cash. That's the money I got for working with the thief. Let's make a deal: either you can refuse it, or you come to the casino tomorrow and bet the five million there."

"So it's a challenge?"

"Because Vegas is a city of luck, after all," Fujiki agrees. Tsukasa accepts the challenge, and Fujiki exits.

Tsukushi follows him back down to his car, asking why he would help them. Fujiki says, "When he said I wouldn't care if someone got killed for five million, that got to me. It's the least I can do. But...if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?"

"Twenty-two."

"And you're marrying the president of Doumyouji Holdings?"

"Well, that's the plan."

"Getting married that young...you're not worried?"

"Well...I'm a little worried with everything that's going on now, but..."

Fujiki slides into his car. "You should call it off."

"What?"

"You're young. You could meet a better guy," he says to her, then speeds off into the night.

She stares after him, clearly affected, as Tsukasa leans over the balcony upstairs and asks what she was talking to that guy about. She says, "...no, it was nothing at all."

Cut to Tsukasa in the motel bathroom, having changed for bed (into a sparkly t-shirt that is way too nice for bed, but uh I think it is clear that an ordinary non-sparkly t-shirt is not good enough for tonight if you get what I'm saying). He is clearly like, "Oh yeah, SEXY TIMES AHEAD." Oh my god, Jun's FACE.

He looks so self-satisfied and confident and cutely nervous and as he walks out of the bathroom it is fairly clear just from his face that he is expecting Tsukushi to be dressed in um the Tsukushi equivalent of sparkly pajamas intended for SEXY TIMES.

She is, however, in totally plain t-shirt and pajama pants, curled up on the sofa, gazing out on the strip. Tsukasa notices her distracted expression.

TSUKASA'S OBVIOUS THOUGHT PROCESS: MAKINO WAS TALKING TO ASSHOLE HOTEL DUDE ---> MAKINO SEEMS DISINTERESTED IN SEXY TIMES ---> OH EM GEE THERE IS CLEARLY A CONNECTION HERE!!! (He's right, just in TOTALLY THE WRONG WAY.)

He freaks out and starts yelling at her about what was she talking about with Fujiki! She insists it was nothing, but he goes postal and screams about her being a cheater, and she shrieks that she only TALKED to the guy, and he says THAT IS CHEATING ENOUGH, YOU CHEATING CHEATER WOMAN WHO CHEATS!!!! (This is all more comedy-style than OMG ANGST, they're being SUCH an old married couple here.)

Tsukasa is like, WELL I'M GOING TO BED, and he flounces off into bed and wraps himself up in the covers. And Tsukushi gets totally steamed, stomps over to the bed, and RIPS the covers off of him to take them ALL back over to the couch for her to sleep. Their FACES through this whole thing were HILARIOUS, I cannot describe how funny Tsukasa's flouncing and wrapping himself in the covers is. This was very close to being my favorite scene in the movie, the whole transition from POSSIBLE SEXY TIMES to FLOUNCE was just brilliant.

They head back to the casino the next day, and Tsukushi is still pissed.

"Makino."
"..."
"Makino."
"......."
"MAKINO."
"WHAT?!"
"Are you still mad? I'm the one who got cheated on, I should be the one angry here!"
"OH MY GOD FOR THE LAST TIME, I DIDN'T CHEAT ON YOU!"

They, however, put everything behind them as they head into the casino's high roller section. Tsukasa hands off the bag of cash to the roulette table, asking them to put it all into chips (in English! again, Matsujun continues to be understandable!).

He explains to Tsukushi how roulette works, and then as the casino worker hands them the chips, Tsukushi takes a single $2000 chip and places her bet. He asks what she thinks she's doing, and he puts it ALL ON THE TABLE. Tsukushi freaks and asks what the hell is wrong with him, is he crazy?! Five million on one bet?! Why not put half on red and half on black or something?!!

He staunchly refuses, saying that the fact that they're getting married is a miracle on that kind of level, and he's willing to bet on them. She looks at him, touched. They watch as the roulette wheel spins...

...and spins...

...and right then, Tsukasa gasps as he looks over Tsukushi's shoulder.

NINJA DUDE IS IN THE CASINO CROWD, GRINNING EVILLY AT THEM.

Tsukasa yells, "You stay here!" and JUMPS ON THE ROULETTE TABLE in hot pursuit. He chases the ninja all through the casino, outside, down the strip...but loses him. "DAMMIT!" he screams, crouching down on the sidewalk. In back of him, footsteps approach...

...and as he looks up, he recognizes the person standing in front of him...who tosses him an apple.

Meanwhile, the ball stopped right on the spot of their bet....EXCEPT WHEN TSUKASA JUMPED ON THE TABLE, THE BALL SHIFTED AND THEY LOST IT ALL. Tsukushi starts screaming bloody murder about how they totally won and it's not fair and tries to grab the chips, and casino security is called. She shoves one guy down into a fountain without meaning to, and as she leans down to check on him, accidentally decks the guard behind her, More security surrounds her, and she is thrown out of the casino flat on her face. She looks completely miserable and wails why has this happened to her?

Behind her, Rui singsongs, "Ma-ki-no!"

And there is F4, standing in front of a stretch...Jeep? Rui and Tsukasa both with apples in hand.

F4 buy out a lounge, and they all toast to the wedding. F3 says they've come to help. Tsukasa says delightedly, "After all, you wanted to come be with me!"

"Nope," the other three chorus.

Rui says cheerfully, "We came to help Makino. Because it's F4's motto, isn't it? We'll always help Makino Tsukushi in her time of need!"

Tsukushi is overwhelmed, and bursts into tears, thanking all of them for coming.

Rui says, "After all, you've been having it rough, being dragged all over the place by Tsukasa, right?"

She sobs, "I REALLY HAVE. OH IT'S BEEN AWFUL. YOU HAVE NO IDEA."

Tsukasa yells at her, "You can't be all that miserable, being with me, can you?"

"OH YES I CAN," she bawls.

"IS IT THAT SPICY (KARAI), BEING WITH ME?!!" he yells at her.

"You mean painful (tsurai), Tsukasa," Soujirou corrects.

Rui smiles at her and tells her not to cry, and she says, "I'm crying because I'm happy!" as Tsukasa roars, "WHICH ONE IS IT?!!"

Soujirou tells Tsukushi to stop crying because her bimyou face will get more bimyou, and Tsukasa gets riled up because we know he cannot stand other people referring to Makino as bimyou, and screams at Soujirou that SHE IS NOT BIMYOU OKAY! He snaps, "Be careful of saying the wrong words!" Soujirou answers, "You mean, be careful what words I use?" Tsukushi bawls, "THE ONE WHO SAYS WRONG WORDS IS YOU, MORON."

Then Rui pats Tsukushi on the head as she stops crying, and Tsukasa rushes between them jealously: "DON'T TOUCH HER, RUI!"

"Why not?" Rui pouts.

"BECAUSE IF YOU TOUCH HER SHE COULD CATCH YOUR SPACEY PERSONALITY AND I WON'T HAVE IT, OKAY!" He stands next to Tsukushi and says smugly to the other three, "After all, seeing the two of us together...you're all wanting to get married too, right!"

"..." F3 stare at him thoughtfully, then chorus, "Nope, not at all."

But, they're all willing to help. Akira says he'll show them around Hong Kong, and they all head off to retrieve the tiara...

Meanwhile, the ninja is talking to the aforementioned older man from the traditional Japanese house, though the current locale is the auction house. "There's a problem," the ninja says. "His friends are helping him." The man says, no. They can still pull it off...

They all head to Hong Kong, in F4's wedding present to Tsukushi and Tsukasa: a private jet with "FLOWER FOUR" on the plane. The inside is spacious, and Akira remarks that it doesn't feel like you're on a plane at all when it's this big. Tsukasa is touched by the gift, Tsukushi is freaking out at the extravagance. Tsukasa is still concerned about the tiara auction: as he points out, if they can't recover it, his mother will kill him and the wedding definitely will not go on.

Akira says, "Follow me!" in English, and takes them to a table that has details of the auction house on paper. He explains how the auction will work: it's all underground, and because there's the concern of bank accounts being traced, all deals are done entirely in cash. Tsukushi says wonderingly, "Even tens of millions, all in cash?" "That's the idea," Akira agrees. Since all the dealings are in cash, they just need to win the tiara, and then can catch the culprit by seeing who leaves the auction house carrying the money.

F4 says Tsukasa doesn't have to worry: they will handle the money issue entirely. Tsukasa is touched, but Tsukushi looks really freaked out at the idea that her wedding is basically being bought for tens of millions of dollars.

They head to the auction site, and as they walk in, who's ahead of them but...FUJIKI. Tsukasa yells, "I KNEW IT WAS HIM!" but Tsukushi says, "No, I really don't think it is." Tsukasa looks betrayed by her siding with Fujiki, but Akira says never mind, they need to head inside.

All of the bidders have private rooms surrounding a chamber where you can see the objects being bid on. An official walks out and places the tiara on a table in the chamber, and F4 watches as the electronic bidding war starts, taking place by computer.

They put in their bid, and we see the older man, watching their bidding war go on...

The bidding tops around around half a billion dollars (Rui is reading a book as they bid!), with F4 as the winners. Akira calls his associates and requests for them to bring the cash. Tsukushi is agape at the price going to half a billion. Even Tsukasa looks stressed at the price, and he shakes hands with each of F4: "Thank you, all of you. Now we can get married."

They return to their Hong Kong hotel with the tiara. Tsukushi wakes up the next morning and is really stressed out after everything, going outside. Fujiki calls to her, and strolls up next to her on the courtyard balcony. "Did you get the tiara back?"

Tsukushi says they did, and he notes she's unhappy-looking, and asks if she had a fight with her fiancee. She says it's not that. Fujiki offers her his card, saying that if she needs to talk he'll always listen to her, as her senpai in life: he's been married once before, and he can give her advice. He walks off, Tsukushi wonderingly saying, "He's so grown-up..."

She looks over the balcony down on the hotel courtyard. But something catches her eye down there, and her eyes widen...

Tsukushi then walks off only to run into Tsukasa in the hall. She hesitantly says, "Um...I've got to tell you something. I saw something. Just now."

"Saw what?"

"Look...I may have seen wrong. But...but Hanazawa Rui...he was here in the hotel, and he was talking to the guy who stole the tiara."

Tsukasa looks at her increduously. "You saw wrong."

Tsukushi looks absolutely miserable, clearly not wanting to believe it or be saying this either. "But...at the end...they shook hands." A flashback is shown, showing exactly that.

Tsukasa insists, "You saw wrong!"

Tsukushi shakes her head and says quietly, "I...really don't think I did, though."

Tsukasa says, shocked, "Are you doubting Rui?!" Tsukushi tries to defend herself, but Tsukasa brushes past her in the hall angrily.

Tsukushi then runs across Rui, stretched out on a hotel staircase with a book. "Oh, Makino."

"Hanazawa Rui! ...um, hey. Were you talking to someone just now?"

Rui's face is even more carefully expressionless than usual. "Talking to someone? No."

"Over there? In the courtyard?"

"No. I've been alone this whole time."

She persists, "Didn't you just shake hands with a guy?"

"Shake hands? You're seeing things, aren't you, Makino?"

Cut to F4 and Tsukushi on a night cruise on a private boat. Tsukushi keeps stealing suspicious glances at Rui and can't settle, and Tsukasa keeps getting more and more angry as he watches her do so. They say they didn't manage to catch the culprit. Soujirou says carelessly, "The money was a cheap price for your happiness, anyway."

When Tsukasa wonders if there's any way to track down that cash, Rui says, "Nope...probably not."

Tsukushi leaps up and walks over to Rui, saying, "Hanazawa Rui, I'm asking you one more time, weren't you talki-"

Tsukasa leaps up, grabs her arm, and yells, "COME WITH ME, MAKINO," dragging her out of the room and down the stairs to the deck below. Rui watches them exit, looking skeeetch.

Tsukushi screams, "He's acting too weird! This whole thing is too weird! He shook hands with that guy!"

"You're the one acting weird! I'm telling you, you SAW WRONG!" Tsukasa screams back at her.

"I didn't see wrong! Think about it! What if all three of them are in on it?!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"They just spent half a billion dollars and nobody seems to even care! How is that not strange to you?!"

"That kind of money is, for us..." Tsukasa looks off, unable to say it's normal to spend.

"Why are you believing them instead of me?!" Tsukushi yells, almost crying. "Are you saying you can't trust me?"

"You're making an accusation that you can't ever take back, if it turns out you saw wrong!"

He stalks off back to F4, leaving Tsukushi miserable. Cut away to F4 in a fancy hotel room. Tsukasa is clearly affected by what Tsukushi said, though trying (very badly) not to show it. He thanks everyone again, promising to pay them back. Soujirou asks, "But where's Makino?"

"...dunno."

"Oh man. Did you guys have a fight again?"

"......maybe."

"Tsukasa! We went to all that trouble to get the tiara back, and now you're fighting?"

At the comment about the tiara, Tsukasa FLIES OFF THE HANDLE and starts screaming about the tiara and what does he know about it? Akira breaks it up, and they ask, bewildered, what is up with Tsukasa. He says, "I'm just saying, the friendship between us guys, it's important to me!"

"If we're important to you, don't yell and turn violent on us," Soujirou snaps. Tsukasa flies off the handle again and starts trying to hit Soujirou, and Akira has to settle him again, and Soujirou says angrily that Tsukasa is utterly unmanageable without Makino: she's the only one who can serve as his handler. Tsukasa screams at the top of his lungs, "DON'T TALK ABOUT ME LIKE I'M A WILD ANIMAL!"

Cut to Tsukushi, who is in a low-budget restaurant, stuffing her face. "It's delicious!" she squeals...to Fujiki. Fujiki says fondly, "This kind of restaurant is more your speed, isn't it?" She looks embarrassed, but admits it's easier for her to relax in this kind of place.

She asks him about his wife, but he says they're divorced. She playfully asks, "Why'd you break up, then? Did you cheat on her?"

"Not at all. Even looking back, I think we were a very happy couple."

"Then why did it end?"

"One day, I just asked her, 'What is your dream?' My ex-wife was a designer. She's so creative, got a million ideas, has a thousand dreams she wants to see come true that way."

"That's wonderful."

"I thought so...at the time."

"Huh?"

"You see... I have my business and it's important to me, but I realized, looking at my wife, that I couldn't relate to the kind of passion she had towards her own career. And when I asked her what her dream was, the only answer was about her own job. I realized both of us were after different things, and neither of us were capable of putting the other first before our careers. She didn't have room for me in her dream, and I'd realized I wasn't really putting her first, either. So we ended it. Our values, they were just too different..."

Tsukushi looks visibly shaken at this point.

Cut to Tsukasa, outside the lounge alone, scowling and looking out at the bay. Rui walks out and asks what's got him so upset, sitting down next to him.

Tsukasa says hesitantly, "Hey, Rui. I can trust you...right?"

Rui looks at him cryptically, and Tsukasa says quickly, "No, no. Forget I asked. I've decided to trust you. No matter what."

Rui looks out on the bay. "You asked me, remember?"

"What?"

"You said I was to take care of everything. I've been thinking really hard about that. What it means to have that kind of responsibility: to be in charge of taking care of everything..."

Shot of Tsukasa from the back, as Fujiki voiceovers, "Can you really stay with him for the rest of your life?"

"Right now, I... I don't know," Tsukushi says. "Could you tell me what were you doing at the auction?"

"Because Shigeru-chan asked me. 'Get that tiara back for Tsukushi, no matter what it takes,'" he smiles.

Tsukushi warns Fujiki as he leaves not to make Shigeru cry. Without turning around, he gives her the thumbs-up in response as he walks away. Tsukushi turns away to go back to the hotel, looking heartbroken as she turns around.

The next day, they're back on the private jet, but only Tsukushi and Tsukasa on the plane this time, flying home. Tsukushi wakes up and peers around the corner at Tsukasa, who is sitting in a chair with his sunglasses on, the tiara box in his lap. She looks upset, but gathers her courage and goes to sit next to him.

Tsukasa angrily demands to know where she went the night before. Tsukushi says it's none of his business, and he snaps that since they're getting married, it certainly is his business.

He takes off his sunglasses and looks at her, and she takes a deep breath. "I don't even know if we should really get married."

He looks at her, stunned, almost on the verge of tears. "Are you seriously hesitating now?"

Tsukushi looks out the window. "I've just been thinking, you know..."

The stewardess (played by Becky!) walks up at this point, and offers them both champagne. Both of them down it in the style of "if we're going to break up then neither of us want to be sober," and Tsukushi, looking totally unhappy, looks over at Tsukasa and asks, "Doumyouji...your dream...what is it?"

He looks over at her and says softly, "My...dream...is..."

His eyes shut: he's asleep. Tsukushi starts looking woozy just a second later, and she realizes the champagne was drugged. Both of them pass out, and someone gently moves Tsukasa's hands off the tiara box, taking it away... The ninja glances down at Tsukasa, then walks away with tiara in hand.

Cut to Tsukushi's eyes, snapping open. She's on her back, seeing nothing but sky. She takes that in, realizes that's not right, and jumps up to see that they've been dumped on a beach, their luggage around them. She shakes Tsukasa, but he's still drugged and out of it, and just giggles like a total loon in his sleep.

She starts walking down the coast. "It can't be, that this is a..."

"Deserted island?" Tsukasa calls behind her. "Looks like. And the tiara's gone."

They look at each other, all business, and go through all of their belongings to figure out what they have packed that can help them survive. They try to make a fire, and find a cave to sleep in. Tsukushi remembers something they were told when Kaede gave them the tiara: the jewels in it are from America and Hong Kong. "It's the same route we've traced. Isn't that odd?" They wonder if it was planned from the beginning. Tsukasa, still not having luck with the fire, says next stop for them might be heaven...or hell. Finally the flame catches.

A montage follows of the following days: searching for food. Many gratuitous shots of Tsukasa swimming in pants and a wifebeater. They cut up Tsukasa's Visa card to use in place of a knife to cut things with. Tsukushi tries to gather fruit but everything she tries to eat tastes gross.

Tsukushi tries to grab a fruit from a tree, but she falls down and ends up landing in the water. She jumps up, drenched from head to toe, and just as she gets out of the water, it starts to pour. She sobs, "I WANT TO GO HOME!"

She returns to the cave, and Tsukasa comes up with firewood, only to see her still drenched and shivering in the rain as it pours. "What were you doing?!" he says, upset. "Don't push yourself!"

She buries her face in her knees. "If we don't push ourselves, we won't survive." She stares into the rain dejectedly. "I never should have agreed to marry you. Then this never would have happened."

He says sharply, "You'd better not be saying that seriously."

"But it's true, isn't it? If I hadn't agreed to marry you, I never would have been given the tiara. We never would have gotten stuck here. Even if we spend the rest of our lives together, will things really work out? Aren't our values just too different?"

He stands, and tells her tightly, "Things will only work out if you want them to. But even now, I'm still not having any hesitations about wanting to spend the rest of my life with you." Angry and upset, he stalks off into the rain.

The next day, Tsukushi is out looking for food again, and near the water, she takes off the Saturn necklace and gazes at it thoughtfully in that way she does. And right then, the wildlife starts going crazy, birds flying away and stuff, and...she hears a roar in the woods behind her.

(THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE WAS...WAY. TOO. RIDICULOUS.)

Yes. Tsukushi is being chased by a freaking bear.

Considering the island has since appeared to be tropical, this seems roughly as likely as the Lost polar bear. Anyway, she runs for her life through the water, stumbling, and not realizing it, she drops the Saturn necklace on a rock in the water.

She makes it to a clearing, and can hear the bear around her roaring. She bursts into tears, and says, "Why is this happening! I just want to be happy and live in peace! I won't die like this!"

So she faces the bushes the roars are coming from, and...the camera closes up on her feet. She begins to jump.

As the bear jumps out at her...

She punches it in the head.

(I'm NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP, I SERIOUSLY WISH I WERE, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY WERE THINKING. I loved the movie but SERIOUSLY. SERIOUSLY. I DON'T HAVE WORDS.)

She flashes back to punching Tsukasa in the face for the first time, and smiles to herself, remembering her feelings for him up until now. Her hand drifts to her neck, to touch the necklace...

...and she realizes it's gone.

She starts running through the forest and back into the water, frantically looking for it. She gets dirty, and as the sun sets, she bursts into tears as it gets dark. She flashes back to the plane scene, remembering Tsukasa telling her it was the first present he'd ever given to a woman, and if she lost it he would kill her. "KissHug" by aiko plays as she sobs to herself, continuing to search.

Tsukasa is worried as it gets dark back at the camp, and he lights a torch and starts running through the forest, calling to Tsukushi. He finds her passed out on the beach, and he wakes her up. She's completely exhausted, and he says gently, "Come on. We're going home." He wraps her arms over his shoulders, and lifts her up to carry her piggyback, trudging through the water to get back to camp.

She's half asleep as he carries her, then starts to stir. Her fingers tighten around his neck, and she cries, "I...I lost it."

"Lost what?"

"The necklace. Even though...that necklace...is so, so precious to both of us," she says tearily.

He goes completely silent, and she digs her fingers into his shirt, crying, "I'm so sorry, Doumyouji..."

He says softly, "Makino. Nothing is more important to me than you. Don't ever worry me like this over something so stupid, ever again." He continues to walk on through the water, shifting her weight as he trudges on.

The next day, he's up in a tree, and excitedly sees a bird's nest with eggs in it. "BREAKFAST!" he yells. He climbs the tree, and when he grabs the egg, he sees something in the nest...

Tsukushi is back at camp, and Tsukasa comes back with the eggs. "Will you cheer up with a breakfast like this?"

"Yeah," she says, smiling.

"And maybe this will help, too." He fishes in his pocket, and dangles the necklace in front of her face.

"Where was it?!"

"In the bird's nest I found the eggs in!"

"A bird picked it up...!" She fastens it back around her neck, looking unbelievably relieved.

Tsukasa looks at her expression, and smiles, then quietly sits next to her. "Maybe it's not so bad, getting stuck here."

"Huh?"

"I feel like the two of us, we were forgetting...how to be us, together." He smiles at her, and says just like the cabin scene in the finale, "We're destined for each other."

There's a pretty shot of them from the back, and Tsukushi nods, "Yeah," and leans her head against his shoulder.

Another montage. Apparently cut-up Visa cards can be used as a shaving razor. LOL. Tsukushi pokes Tsukasa in the face as he shaves. They chase each other through the forest, laughing until Tsukushi falls down a pit. Tsukasa laughs at her as soon as he sees she's okay, and they grin at each other as he offers a hand to help her up. They sit on the beach: Tsukasa shampoos Tsukushi's hair, and Tsukushi shampoos Tsukasa's hair in turn.

Then Tsukushi sits on the beach, watching Tsukasa swim in the ocean in front of her, shirtless. Tsukushi smiles as she watches him, and calls, "How long do you think it's been since we got here?"

"A month?" he suggests.

"No way! It's gotta be longer! It must be spring in Japan, now!"

He laughs. "Makino. You missed graduation!"

She freezes. "Oh god! I did! ...but I didn't sit my finals, so I couldn't have graduated anyway, right?"

"Damn. I was planning on having the wedding the day of graduation, too. We have to reschedule."

Tsukushi stands and walks down to the water. "It's not so bad, being here, actually."

"It's not," Tsukasa grins. "It's just you and me. And nobody can get in our way."

"And I realized: with it just being the two of us, we can share the painful things, so they're only half as painful. And we can share the happy things, so we can have twice as much happiness."

"That may be right."

"And I asked you before, but...Doumyouji, what is your dream?"

He gazes up at her from the water, and points at her silently for a long moment. He drops his hand, and smiles, "It already came true."

She stares at him, and he says, "I love you." ("Aishiteru." !!!)

He moves up to the beach, looking at her, and then hugs her, saying, "I will never let you go." She throws her arms around him, crying into his shoulder, with him looking near tears too, as the camera spins 360 degrees around them...

Then we see them lying down, hugging on the beach next to their "HELP" message spelled out for airplanes to see. He says quietly, "I didn't ask you, yet. What's your dream, Makino...?"

She turns to him, and says, very softly, "My dream? It's..."

And of course, they're interrupted as a spotlight shines on them from the distance: it's a helicopter! They're saved!! Tsukushi screams, "HELP ME! HELP ME!" in English, and Tsukasa grabs her arm and says, "No, this is too weird. A helicopter out of nowhere?"

Indeed...it's the ninja. Who says he's come to take them home: the final stage has been prepared.

Cut away to the older man's traditional Japanese home from the start, in Kyoto. Tsukushi and Tsukasa are taken directly there, still in their island clothes. The guy - I will call him Mastermind Guy - says they must be hungry, and offers them some lunch. Tsukasa flies off the handle and demands to know who he is and what he did all this for.

The ninja puts the tiara box on the floor in front of them. Tsukushi rushes to open it, finding the tiara inside. "It's here! It's okay!"

Tsukasa picks up the tiara, and flings it into the garden outside, sick of the sight of it. "We don't need this thing anymore."

Mastermind Guy smiles. "Did you know? That tiara...it's an imitation."

"An imitation? You mean...it's a fake?" Tsukushi gapes.

"The Smile of Venus tiara never existed in the first place."

"What the hell is going on?!" Tsukasa demands.

AND THEN THE TWIST:

Mastermind Guy was hired by the Makino family and Kaede. Both sides of the family were concerned that the OTP were not going to work out if they got married with misgivings, so they hired this guy ("an old friend" of Kaede's) to TEST THEIR LOVE. Apparently this includes dumping them on a desert island for a month to possibly starve to death. I expect this shit from Mama "LOL LET'S FAKE MY SON'S FRIEND'S SUICIDE THAT WILL BE AWESOMESAUCE" Doumyouji, but THE MAKINO FAMILY?!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!!!!!

(At this point we see Kaede and Tsukushi's parents, having lunch in another room in the house. When Kaede eats, she smiles, "Delicious!" in exactly the same way Tsukushi did when eating with Fujiki.)

Tsukasa yells, "What if we had broken up?!"

He answers, "Then you weren't destined for each other, were you?"

Tsukushi's mom and dad then show up, and hug Tsukushi and apologize for putting her through all this pain. And then they both turn to Doumyouji, and drop to the ground, bowing and apologizing for what they did. Tsukasa pulls them up, and says because of everything that's happened, he's only grown more determined to spend the rest of his life with Tsukushi. "I swear I will make Tsukushi-san happy for the rest of her life. She's the person she is because she had such an amazing mother and father raising her." He bows to them, then: "Thank you for having Tsukushi as a daughter. Thank you for raising her the way you did..."

They all exit, and Kaede walks in to talk to Mastermind Guy. She thanks him for everything he's done, and he says, "You raised your son well. Those two are going to be happy together." She smiles, "I hope so." He says rather harshly but affectionately to her like Doumyouji, "Don't be so wishy-washy." So it's pretty clear that this guy is Kaede's long-lost-ex: the guy she could have chosen but didn't, and I was actually really amazed by this entire scene because Kaga Mariko was acting the shit out of this in how wonderfully subtle it all was. I've never ever really thought Kaede was deserving of sympathy, and I could never forgive her in Returns for the fake suicide maneuver. But this entire short scene showed that she probably had exactly the same issues Tsubaki did, the same troubles, and it fleshed her out and suddenly so much of her actions made sense over the past three years worth of TORTURING THE OTP.

Tsukushi and Tsukasa are stretched out outside, lying next to each other in front of a beautiful rock garden. They talk about how eternal love isn't something you given but something you find, and that's what the meaning of the fake tiara was. Tsukushi glances up and sees Kaede across from them. Tsukushi smiles at her and calls her "Mother," and Kaede rushes over to both of them and says, "Okaeri." Tsukasa smiles and says, "Tadaima," and Kaede looks teary and hugs both of them. I really don't think I should be buying this (I REALLY liked how they ended on Kaede in Returns) but somehow Kaga Mariko sells it THAT HARD so I was like, okay, I'll buy.

Then Tsukasa and Tsukushi face the ninja. Tsukasa says, "You...I can't quite forgive, though. Let me punch you once and we'll call it even." Tsukushi and the ninja both object, but Tsukasa winds up, and...

...stops just short of the face, simply tapping the ninja on the head with his fist instead, walking away laughing and saying, "Because of you, I got to have the time of my life."

Tsukushi and Tsukasa chase each other out of the house giggling at each other, and Soujirou and Akira call to them at the door...revealing that Rui tracked down the ninja, and when he explained it was ALL A TEST OF THEIR LOVE, and Rui was like, well then we have no choice but to work with you, then! Soujirou adds that they felt really bad about tricking them the whole time, and Kaede has already paid F3 back the money they put in the auction.

Tsukushi asks, "But...where's Hanazawa Rui?"

Soujirou and Akira share a Look, and laugh, "Oh, you know Rui. He's shy. Now, come with us."

Tsukushi and Tsukasa get into a car with F4, and both drift off to sleep against each other. When the car stops, it's nighttime. Soujirou calls to Tsukushi, "Makino, Makino. Wake up."

Tsukushi stirs, and she and Tsukasa get out of the car...

Only to see EVERYONE (I mean EVERYONE, it's every single person who was at the prom at the end!) in full formal dress, lined up in front of Ebisu Garden Place...which is all decked out for a wedding.

Tsukushi and Tsukasa are stunned, but Soujirou and Akira say it's their present from F4: a ready-made wedding.

Ken, across the courtyard, calls out, "BANZAI!" to them, and Tsukasa's face cracks into a huge grin when he sees Ken.

Tsukushi and Tsukasa both are hustled off to get ready, and it cuts to some time later. Tsukasa is in an all-white suit, looking absolutely gorgeous, standing next to a priest.

Tsukushi, in a gorgeous wedding dress with a massive skirt, holding her father's arm, slowly begins to walk down the aisle past everyone.

Shigeru is on the piano, playing the wedding march.

Sakurako works the spotlight.

Yuuki and Okami-san are in charge of the wind machine that's blowing rose petals.

Shizuka walks up just in time, calling her congratulations.

The Lillies are there, and congratulate Tsukushi in their typically irritating way.

Nishida smiles as Tsukushi walks past him.

Tsukushi's mom is in kimono, and Susumu is crying as he tells Tsukushi she looks beautiful.

Tsukushi walks past Kaede, who smiles at her, the kindest she's ever looked.

And then Tsukushi's father gives her away to Tsukasa. They both bow to each other, and then Tsukushi takes Tsukasa's arm, smiling brilliantly with tears in her eyes.

And just as they approach the priest...all of the lights go out, leaving it pitch dark.

A second later, the lights come back up, and IT'S RUI IN THE PRIEST'S PLACE, DRESSED IN THE SAME OUTFIT.

Tsukasa asks what's going on. Rui smiles, "You told me, 'Take care of everything,' right? And I told you I thought about what that really meant, right?"

Tsukasa grins huge. "That's what you meant, Rui?"

"Yeah. I really wanted to be able to say, 'Congratulations,' to both of you...to your faces." (re: the scene with Shizuka)

Tsukushi cluelessly asks what's going on, but of course it's one of those Guy Things between those two.

Soujirou and Akira walk up then, and F4 and Tsukushi all look at each other for a long moment, smiling silently, all of them except Rui right on the verge of tears...

It cuts away, and Rui says, "Now, prepare the rings. Do you, Doumyouji Tsukasa, swear to take Makino Tsukushi as your wife, making her happy for the rest of her life?"

"I do!" Tsukasa says, looking absolutely overcome with happiness.

"And do you, Makino Tsukushi, take Doumyouji Tsukasa as your husband, and swear to make him happy for the rest of his life?"

"I do," Tsukushi says, tearing up.

Rui smiles. "You may now kiss the bride."

They turn to each other, and Tsukushi kneels down so Tsukasa can get her veil off. They lean in, then grin and just laugh at each other in total giddy joy...

And then they kiss, and I am not kidding when I say this is the best J-drama kiss I have ever seen, ever. I've never seen a J-drama kiss this absolutely perfect, but there it is. They are both completely into it, though Jun really went all out here.

Tsukasa throws an arm around her waist and pulls her close, and he actually has his hand in her hair to pull her head in tighter. When they pull apart, they just keep looking at each other in total perfect happiness. He lifts her up into the air, and she pecks him on the lips really quickly one more time and touches his face, as rose petals rain down on them. And IT IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.

Fade away...


ONE YEAR LATER... (One Love plays as the final credits roll over this.)

Akira is in Hong Kong with hundreds of his crime syndicate minions, all sitting down to dinner. He makes a speech in English that they're not going to be bad people anymore now that he's in charge, and will use their powers for good and not for evil. XD

Soujirou's written a book on tea and is doing a signing, the line going down the block. Yuuki appears in front of him and grins, asking him to sign her book. He looks at her. She smiles at him. He...makes a mad dash through the line of girls, knocking over books to escape. "NISHIKADO-SAN! STOP DOING THIS!" she hollers after him.

Rui is in his room, holding a photo. We can't see what it is. He places it on his windowsill, mouths, "Ittekimasu!" and walks out the door. He had a voiceover here, but I can't quite remember what it was: I think it something like that flowers cannot live forever, and life is full of goodbyes...

And then we cut back to the deserted island. Tsukushi looks absolutely stunning, and Tsukasa is next to her on the beach. Both of them are drawing in the sand with sticks. She says, "Hey. Am I really the most important person in the world to you?"

"Of course," he scowls. "I said you were, I'm sure not going back on it now."

"Well...you know...I think I'd be okay, with being your second-best."

"Excuse me? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm just saying, I could live with being your second-best." She grins at him, and says, "You remember asking me what my dream was?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, it's come true." She turns her back to him and yells out at the ocean, "AND I WON'T MIND IF YOU'RE BORN WITH A PERM, EITHER!"

Tsukasa looks at her, baffled. "What are you talking about?"

She turns back and grins at him, touching her stomach.

"Huh?"

She grins.

"What?"

She smiles wider.

Tsukasa's jaw hits the floor and he screams, "A...A...ARIENAITTSU-NO!!!!!!!"

He rushes over to her and presses his head to her stomach, as she laughs, and he starts running around the beach screaming, "YESSSSSSS!!!!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!!" and then finishes his victory lap back next to her, head against her stomach again. The camera moves away from them, he hugs her, lifts her up, then quickly puts her back down again as they fade into the distance... And we see that they wrote with sticks in the sand, "LOVE," in giant letters...

And the final shot?

The photo Rui left in his room: it's F4 and Tsukushi posing at the wedding, Tsukushi laughing and shooting a peace sign at the camera. And the photo fades away...turning into a perfect likeness of the manga characters.

Tsukushi says in voiceover, "This is not the end of our story. Our real story: it's only just beginning..."

Next to the photo, the text reads, "Goodbye..."