(no subject)

[meimichi]

Okay, so Kelly and Brian love their meta like Clark wants to have a long and fulfilling relationship with pie.

There are two major meta gimmicks that suddenly became notable, once AlMiles left and Kelly/Brian took over: yellow flowers = death, and coffee being used as a meta commentary on relationships. chiri_chan's theory on both these things being introduced is because both are in Action, in the famous date scene where Warrior Angel stands up Penelope on their date, filmed at the Talon (a coffee shop):




I'm iffy on the yellow flowers reasoning, buuuut it seems as good a logic as any for yellow flowers to = DEATH on SV, since traditionally yellow = friendship, and I don't get why else they'd pick yellow.

Flowers for next time, though. Coffee is more interesting. I'm only dealing with S8 onwards, because it only became a Thing deliberately written into the scripts since Brian and Kelly's reign. And I've seen a lot of people commenting on this (mostly Chloisers, because you know how we love our delusional meta!) but nobody who collected them all in one post. I'll keep updating this throughout the season.

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8x03: Toxic





Clark walks into the bullpen carrying a coffee with his name on it. Lois takes it out of his hands.

"Hey, thanks, Smallville, you're starting to get the hang of things around here."

Clark starts to comment and then decides it's not worth it. She drinks it throughout the scene.



8x04: Instinct






She has an empty coffee cup when Clark walks in, then gets coffee from the machine at the DP.

Then when Clark reads the report, she grabs it away from him and hands him her coffee cup to hold.



8x06: Prey





Chloe and Davis meet at the coffee shop, but don't have coffee: Chloe doesn't stay long enough to order, and Davis has a beer.



8x12: Bulletproof





Lana enters with two coffee cups: "This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I suggested coffee after work."

She leaves with her coffee and gives Clark his: "Next round's on you?" He never drinks his.






"What's up?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"So you came to a coffee shop? Not your best plan, Mr. Kent."




8x13: Power





Clark meets Chloe at the coffee shop, they do their walk-and-talk about the plot.




8x15: Infamous






"I'm gonna work off my jetlag later on tonight at the cafe.
You wanna come by for a coffee, cool. If not, let's just say I get it."

"Okay."

"Okay. See you there. Or not. Or whatever."


The shot cuts away to Clark paying for a coffee, a clear fakeout shot to pan out and reveal the coffee is for:







"Say that Clark Kent, the unassuming journalist, buttoned up in his starched shirt and tie, but then... When he's playing the hero..."

"...steps out of the shadows into his red and blue, creating two completely separate identities?"







Then he stands up Lois at the coffee shop, Penelope-style.




8x16: Turbulence





"Right, so what, you're gonna pull a quick costume change in the middle of the bullpen?"

"I'm getting really good at it. Watch."




8x17: Hex






Chloe gets coffee from the intern. Clark gets his own from the Planet's machine.







Clark brings Chloe bagels and coffee. They talk, toast each other, and both drink the coffee together.

To date, this is the ONLY TIME someone has bought/brought coffee for both of them and BOTH ended up drinking it.





8x18: Eternal





Chloe still owns the place.






Drinking alone after Davis "dies."





8x19: Stiletto






Lois brings Clark coffee, only one cup for him. He takes it and puts it aside, but we don't see him drink it. She swipes his pastry.



8x20: Beast






"You okay? You usually make capuccinos blindfolded."





9x03: Rabid







"You know, if we're gonna be here all night, I'll get some coffee."

"That's what I love about you, Smallville. I say fire, you say food. I'll take mine black."

"[Clark hands her coffee instantly, using superspeed]"

"That was quick. …do you smell smoke?"

"…no."

"The fire just got put out by the Blur. He is so amazing. Here you and I are just having a coffee,
while he's out squelching five-alarm fires in three seconds flat."

"Two seconds! …not that anyone's counting."

"Yeah…"

"…there's a high-speed motorcycle chase out by the bypass."

"At least somebody's getting a little action tonight."

"[Clark uses his superbreath on her coffee]"

"Clark, this is ice cold! Nevermind! I'll get it myself."





9x04: Echo





Chloe and Clark meet at the coffee shop, Chloe already has bought hers when he gets there.






Lois gets her own coffee.





9x05: Roulette





Ollie meets Chloe at the coffee shop, Chloe has already bought hers when he gets there.





9x06: Crossfire





Lois and Clark both have coffee cups for Good Morning Metropolis. Neither drink from them.

Clark drinks from his cup when he's in the control room later.






Cat and Clark meet for their date at the coffee shop, but neither of them have coffee.

They have glasses of water with lemon wedges instead.






Zod has tea out of a humorously tiny cup because he is British, and unlike Giles,
doesn't want to waste a perfectly good cultural stereotype here.

Tess toasts him with her coffee from across the street.





9x08: Idol





Chloe shows Clark her crest mug...





9x09: Pandora





Clark gives Lois a donut. He has his own cup of coffee he is carrying, but she doesn't.

Lois and Clark agree to be a couple and to "do it right."

The first thing on Lois' list for couple activities: "In that case, let's go get a real cup of coffee."

We never see it happen.





9x10: Disciple





"Hey, mister, that was two hours and more than five cups of coffee ago."

Clark says she stole his food but doesn't mention eating or drinking anything himself.





9x12: Legends





Lois makes coffee for two while talking to a guy she thinks is Clark. He turns around and takes the coffee from her.





9x13: Warrior





"And you made sure that my decaf caramel java chip white chocolate mocha has three shots in it, right?"

"Yeah."

"Great!"

"And for you, sir?"

"Uh, a glass of milk would be great. …I mean, coffee! Dark. Black. Please."

Which is two episodes in a row of Chloe and Lois having coffee with stand-ins for Clark.

Lois gets the DP reporter with glasses, and Chloe gets the superhero who can fly.





9x19: Charade



Very similar to Turbulence, with Clark pouring himself coffee instead of Chloe.




Chloe makes herself coffee, Clark makes a mess of it when he superspeeds in.





9x20: Sacrifice



"All I got left is strong and burnt."

"As long as it's hot."




Clark offers Chloe coffee, she ignores it.

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AAAAND FINISH. To be updated through the season. Conclusion: Chloe and Clark, still the only two people to drink coffee together since this started.

Crazy, delusional? Maybe. But it's still weirdly deliberately written into scripts, we have coffee shop scenes without people drinking coffee there, and I think it's strange that the actors have done so many scenes with coffee the past two years and yet nobody's drinking it.

Next installment: FLOWERS OF DEATH LOL